"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.


Friday, April 11, 2014

It's Been A While

Knock. Knock.

Anyone there?

It's been a while.

A really, really long while. I'm sorry about that.

It's been quite a year for us. Quite a year. I had to step away. Our family had to step away. I think I'm finally ready to come back. Slowly I will share it all with you.

Let me break it down in simplest form and then we can go from there. Within a three month period (February - April 2013) our lives were jerked in every direction possible. I don't even have the words.

So here we go.

In February of 2013 Eli - our littlest, our "little giant" - was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum.

In March of 2013 we found out we may be leaving the Army far sooner than we ever wanted to because of (essentially) a filing error. (I'm not sure how much I will ever get into this but know we are staying, all is fixed, we are in a really great place).

In April of 2013 (after an extremely emotional doctor's visit) we essentially found out our family will have to remain a family of four.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

One hit after another.

It took me some time. It took us all some time.

When I started this blog, my intention was always to keep it strictly military life related. To talk about where we fall in the Army Community, how our life weaves and flows within in. Because of my choice to restrict my blog in that way, I couldn't write.

This year has been a struggle to find my place again. To find my place in the military community when I couldn't be the active part of it I had always been in the past. I am just beginning to see how the new roles I have taken on serve a different purpose in this life and in the people it connects us to. I am still learning how to let go of what I have always done and realizing the worth in what my life is now - still very much a member of the military community.

So I am going to ask you to go back with me nearly a year as I carry you through it. It won't all be military. It won't be deployment. It won't be field exercise separations or FRG or teaching or anything this journey has been before. It will be a journey from the eyes of a momma to a "little giant", from the eyes of a military spouse watching the military she loves change in a way she does not understand, from the eyes of a not-yet-thirty-something woman accepting that every milestone reached for her children will be the last time she experiences them.

It will be sad and hopeful, ungraceful and humbling. We have had the hardest year of our marriage, of our parenthood, of his military career.

We. got. through it.

I hope you are still there. I hope you will stick with me. I hope we can thrive through from here on out.

Let's get started:

Eli the Little Giant - The Day He Was Diagnosed